A lot of truth on Barry’s humor

http://www.miami.com/images/miami/miamiherald/6100/37214689900.jpgFrom
his most recent column
:**

*Q. How come when I read a newspaper story on a topic I’m familiar
with, it always contains errors?

A. This requires a complex team effort, which I will explain by
putting key terms in capital letters: First, the REPORTER gathers
information by interviewing PEOPLE and trying to write down what
they say, getting approximately 35 percent of it right. The REPORTER
then writes a STORY, which goes to an EDITOR, who bitterly resents
the REPORTER because the REPORTER gets to go outside sometimes,
whereas the EDITOR is stuck in the building eating NEWSPAPER
CAFETERIA ”FOOD” that was originally developed by
construction-industry researchers as a substitute for PLYWOOD.

The EDITOR, following journalism tradition, decides that the
REPORTER has put the real point of the story in the 14th paragraph,
which the EDITOR then attempts to move using the ”cut and paste
command,” which results in the story disappearing into ANOTHER
DIMENSION, partly because the EDITOR, like most journalists, has the
mechanical aptitude of a RUTABAGA, but also because the NEW COMPUTER
SYSTEM has a few ”bugs” as a result of being installed by a
low-bid VENDOR whose information-technology experience consists of
servicing WHACK-A-MOLE GAMES.

So the REPORTER and the EDITOR, who now hate each other even more
than they already did, hastily slap a story together from memory,
then turn it over to a GRAPHIC DESIGN PERSON who cannot actually
read but is a wizard on the APPLE MACINTOSH, and who will cut any
remaining accurate sentences out of the story to make room on the
page for a colorful, ”reader-friendly” CHART, which was actually
supposed to illustrate a story in an entirely different SECTION.*

How accurate is this? Sadly, its not that far off the mark.

At various times in my career, I have been the hapless reporter, editor
and graphic design person. Sometimes (actually, pretty much all the
time) I think we’d be a whole lot better off if the profession worried
more about the content of the reporting and not so much about the style
of the writing and its graphical presentation.