No more soup for you!

http://www.cabbage-soup-diet.com/images/cabbage-1.jpgI am on a diet.
It’s the “cabbage soup” diet . I am
in the middle of the fifth day of this week-long excursion into Hell.
Today. I get to eat three bananas and skim milk and all the cabbage soup
I can swallow. I’ve already dropped one pant size. But there are
drawbacks. Right now, I am so agitated and angry, I am a danger to
myself and others. Tomorrow, I get to eat up to 10 ounces of meat and
tomatoes, plus at least one bowl of soup. Wednesday, I can eat as much
beef and vegetables I can stomach, and at least one bowl of soup. After
the week is over, I have to wait at least three weeks before I can go
back on the soup. I don’t know what I am going to on Thursday, but I’ll
tell you one thing: It ain’t gonna eave any $*@%*! cabbage in it.