British cops want to nip that Klingon problem in the bud

May 25, 2006 in Section 2

I had hoped that this story was a joke of some sort. But it’s not.

THIS five-foot martial arts sword capable of beheading a man was recovered by shocked cops in a house raid.

The terrifying Batleth weapon is identical to one wielded by Klingon aliens in the Star Trek sci-fi films.

Officers seized the three-handled sword — which has huge pointed blades at either end — at a home in Gloucester.

It was shown yesterday at the start of a five-week national knife amnesty. Cops hope 30,000 blades will be handed in, with owners free from prosecution.
…
Home Office Minister Vernon Coaker launched the amnesty in St John’s Wood, North West London. He said: “We are determined to get the scourge of knife crime off our streets.”

Of course they are. That’s why the British Barney Fife’s are going into private homes and grabbing science fiction memorabilia. I’m sure everyone feels oh so much safer across the pond.

I have an idea, based on the same basic philosophy. Most muggers wear shoes. It makes running away so much easier. Why not have a shoe amnesty, in which people can turn in these dangerous crime implements voluntarily, and if they don’t, then these cops can just go door to door confiscating them.

It’s only a matter of time before our gun-grabbing governor and the Mayor of Chicago come to the same conclusion.

From Amazon.com:

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6 Responses to “British cops want to nip that Klingon problem in the bud”

C. J. Summers Says:
May 25th, 2006 at 9:45 am
Don’t forget plastic bags. How many people have been suffocated with those? Let’s have plastic bag amnesty, too.
Anon E. Mouse Says:
May 25th, 2006 at 12:19 pm
chaH laH ghaj wIj Bat’leth ghorgh chaH teq ‘oH vo’ wIj ghobe’ HoS Heghpu’ ghop.

It is very rough, but you get the point.
Snarkelicious Says:
May 25th, 2006 at 12:37 pm
All I could think was…COOL! Where do you get one of those?!?

My second thought was an innate desire to smack the prudish look off of the guy’s face. Looks too much like a nightmare homeroom teacher. (shiver)
Bill Dennis Says:
May 25th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Snark: You can click on the image above and order one from Amazon.
Karrie E. Alms Says:
May 25th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
And as my teenage sons astutely note —- it’s not the item, it’s how the user decides to use it!
Bill Dennis Says:
May 25th, 2006 at 10:02 pm
In Peoria, a crackhead can stab a drug dealer to death in a crackhouse and walk away scott free, but in England, the cops go door to door confiscating sharp objects.

*sigh*