OMG! This is Totally Fer Rill!

July 7, 2007
By Anon E. Mouse

Went to go see Ratatouille with the whole famn damily the afternoon of July 4. (Excellent flick, BTW – of course, what do you expect from Pixar?)

Anyway, I about choked when a trailer for the live action Bratz: The Movie came on before the feature. I sent psychic signals to my wife to cover my ‘tween daughter’s ears and eyes, but my wife was too busy clawing out her own eyes at the time to intervene. Luckily, I am pretty sure that Eldest Daughter understands that she won’t be seeing this movie, since she already understands that Bratz, like Barbie, is not allowed in our home.

On the other hand, I may have to reassess my initial reaction to the idea of a live action Underdog movie. First, Pete Dinklage plays Simon Barsinister. He is cool in just about any role (The Station Agent, Elf) he plays.
Then, how can you possibly beat dialogue like this?

Shoeshine Boy: Y’know, you never see dogs hurting each other for money.
Jack: You never see people sniffing each other’s butts.
Shoeshine Boy: Touché.

I am not a big fan of gross-out, Junior High humor, but this wasn’t in that vein. It just seemed pretty funny. I’d really have preferred this movie not have been made, I think Dinklage as Barsinister is too good to pass up.

There was a teaser for Pixar’s 2008 entry, W.A.L.L.-E. It looks intriguingly deep for a robot cartoon movie. It actually appears it may be – well – touching. I look forward to its release.

While researching Pixar stuff, I see they are set to produce John Carter of Mars. This would be a mixture of live acting and animation. If any world was meant to be a mixture of the two, Barsoom is it.
I have yet to find anything out about the movie itself (like would John Carter still be a Civil War veteran), but I am intrigued enough to at least check out “Princess of Mars” from the library.

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9 Responses to “ OMG! This is Totally Fer Rill! ”

  1. Billy Dennis on July 6, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dogs sniff each others BUTTS! Hilarious! Much funnier than that subtle social commentary from the cartoon version. I hooe they actually show Underdog sniffing someone’s butt. That would be so funny!

  2. Knight in Dragonland on July 7, 2007 at 9:42 am

    John Carter of Mars? Sweet!!! It’s classic pulp swashbuckling. I read the whole Barsoom series in junior high.

  3. BJStone on July 7, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    No Bratz or Barbie dolls in the house? Why?

  4. Eyebrows McGee on July 7, 2007 at 9:35 pm

    I’m guessing because Bratz are basically a pedophile’s wet dream. They were singled out by name in the APA’s report on the early sexualization of girls.

    They’re so creepy every time I look at them, I think, “What the HELL has to be wrong with a full-grown man to come up with a hyper-sexualized doll of an EIGHT YEAR OLD CHILD?” I mean, it’s pervy enough to come up with an adult sex doll for full-grown adults. The creep who invented Bratz had to look at little, little girls and say to himself, “mmmmm, sexy” and then create dolls to recreate that wholly inappropriate impulse.

  5. Anon E. Mouse on July 8, 2007 at 11:59 am

    Eyebrows got most of it.
    There is also the part where each comes with an inordinate amount of trashy STUFF.
    Our rule extends to our property line. They can go to the neighbors or their cousins house and play Barbies, but when my niece brought her Barbie-laden backpack to our house, they stayed in the backpack and they did other things and had plenty of fun. (However, that was one perplexed little girl – “No Barbies??”
    We have “Groovy Girls” instead.

    Another example would be my Star Wars crazy son and nephew. I buy my #1 Son Star Wars Lego’s while my in-laws buy my nephew the toy. #1 Son builds and rebuilds his spaceship while Nephew just asks Mom and Dad for a new toy over and over again.
    I mean how, other than with Lego’s, can you come up with “Darth Greedo”???

  6. BJStone on July 10, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Cool. Just checkin’ on why. Eyebrows: Wow.

    Our 11-year old isn’t into Barbie, but has a bunch of Bratz dolls, and I NEVER got the impression that Eyebrows got from looking at ‘em. I just see “the girls with a passion for fashion” and know I’m going to be buying lots of accessories. If you asked Emily what the dolls were “about” she’d say “fashion”. She wouldn’t say “pedophile’s wet dream”.

    The only way Emily, who doesn’t dress like Bratz or even ask to dress like Bratz, BTW, would think that the Bratz dolls were slutty or trashy is if an adult TOLD her that they were, which we haven’t. To me, they’re simply her toys. The only time they bother me is when they’re left all over the house instead of put away. So I was just wondering what I was missing.

  7. Eyebrows McGee on July 11, 2007 at 9:04 am

    Your daughter is probably protected by both her innocence and by the self esteem of growing up in a strong family structure. But you should read the APA report nonetheless; it’s very instructive.

    I know there are other creepy and inappropriate toys out there but Bratz just REALLY creep me out. And I don’t have anything against fashion dolls generally and think they can be great creative play (although I’d object to a girl being restricted to playing with ONLY fashion dolls). Bratz are just … beyond the pale to me.

  8. PeoriaIllinoisan on July 11, 2007 at 11:21 am

    It could be that when the Bratz doll’s boots fall off you’re left with two peg legs chopped off at the knees.

    The actual Bratz don’t bother me as much as the name.

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