Eye Candy: Hot lawyers aren’t hard to find

Kevin Lowe has a post up listing the 10 reasons why he wants to be a Hollywood lawyer, as opposed to an attorney of the real-life variety. One of the reasons is that on television, the lady attorneys all seem to be well-endowed hotties.

First, I agree. That does seem to be the case (and I’ll have more on that later). But my sense of honor and demands that I stand up for all the female lawyers I know and say that every single lady barristers I know here in Peoria is a beautiful, charming and witty specimen of the fairer sex.

That being said, I now feel compelled to provide visual evidence to support Mr. Lowe’s conclusion:

• Jeri Ryan: After she peeled off that catsuit she wore on Star Trek: Voyager, she took a role of lawyer turned attorney on Boston Public, one of those horrid over-the-top David Kelley series. She’s also playing a lawyer, yet again, on Shark, opposite James Wood. And we can thank her for giving us Barack Obama. The details of her divorce from Senate candidate Jack Ryan kept him out of the race, clearing the way for the GOP to pick Alan Keyes to run against Obama. So we have her to thank for that. And for the cat suit.
• Catherine Bell: She played Maj. and then Lt. Col. Sarah MacKenzie on JAG. She was an attorney, but basically was the love interest for the series star David James Elliot, who played fighter pilot turned JAG officer Harmon Rabb. In one memorable episode, “Mac” paid a visit to one of Australia’s topless beaches. I started watching that show regularly in hopes they would return to Australia. By the way, she’s half Iranian and speaks Farsi.
• Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon: She portrayed Assistant District Attorney Valerie Heywood on NYPD Blue, where she was the love interest for Det. Baldwin Jones. She left this series to work on a sitcom with Jamie Fox. A step down for Garcelle, if you ask me. I haven’t seen much of Garcelle since, but she’s bound to pop out, er, UP somewhere.
• Sharon Lawrence: She played ADA Sylvia Costas on NYPD Blue. She was the love interest for Det. Andy Sipowicz, who called her a “pissy little bitch” on the very first episode. Lawrence played Costas as a pit of a frump at first, but when the character was introduced, she was allowed to make the character progressively sexier, as several shower scenes demonstrated. Besides, she’s funny, and funny is always sexy, unless you are Phyllis Diller. Or Rose O’Donnell. But then, Rosie isn’t funny either.
• Kim Delany: She’s another NYPD Blue alum, but she didn’t play a hot lawyer until after she left that series to star in Philly, where she was hard-luck trying to recover from an abusive husband who just HAPPENED to be the state’s attorney. She was hot to be sure, but her characters always seemed on the verge of emotional collapse. While most guys find women who are just a little bit helpless to be a bit of a turn-on, basket-cases are definitely a downer.
• Emily Proctor: Before she was a squeaky-voiced Southern belle firearms expert on CSI: Miami, she was a squeaky-voiced Southern belle conservative attorney in the very liberal Bartlett administration on West Wing. She was once a television weather reporter. I almost wrote “weather girl,” but that would be sexist. Isn’t she just cute as a button, though?

I’m sure my loyal readers can think of examples I have missed.

Jeri Ryan,Sharon Lawrence,Kim Delany,Catherine Bell,Garcelle Beauvais,Emily Proctor